Re-focus

Recently I've been struggling to get in the almost-daily workouts and have also stepped somewhat away from the eating clean principles, allowing chocolate to creep back into daily life and partaking in offers of ice cream and other non-clean non-essentials. My workload has increased so the workouts have been shorter or non-existent too, all adding up to a slip-sliding-away feeling. Not good. Last weekend I decided I'd see if how I looked in reality matches how I thought I looked in my head (mirrors can play nice tricks on you if you hold yourself at the right angles!). So to do this I decided to put my TAM Continuity Dance Cardio dvd on the TV, whilst simultaneously videoing myself performing the moves on my iPad right next to the TV. I wanted to see how good (or bad) I was at the moves as well as how my body looked, as I thought I'd been doing ok and was considering entering a maintenance phase, reasonably happy with the scales and the mirror image. Well, let me tell you all was not well in the world after this crazy experiment! After reviewing the video I not only saw that my body is quite a way from being acceptable (in my head) but worse, even though I thought I was performing the same moves as little old Tracy, I certainly wasn't giving it half the energy she seems to bounce around with, which was a surprise to me. I workout in one of two areas - the lounge which has a carpeted floor, or the conservatory/dining room which has Italian stone floors, both areas of approximately 8ft square to work with when sofas, furniture and other non-moveable items are taken into account. This is not really a lot of space so maybe the reason I wasn't putting as much energy into it was that I can't easily move back and forth as much as our Tracy, or that when I kick I have to be sure there's not a cat or a sofa in my way, I'm not sure really. I was a bit lost and dismayed to be honest, and started questioning whether Tracy Anderson's Method had actually done me any favours at all??? I know my abs are way more visible than they were 6 months ago so that's good, and my arms are nice and defined and I'm quite proud of those, and yes I now have a little dent where those hip flexors are developing, so again good, but the rest of me, hmm, not sure. Was this 20-30 minutes of cardio really worth the effort? Was the half hour 'waving my arms around' (as hubby calls it) really doing much? Before the video incident I'd been to a Body Combat class at the leisure centre and definitely gave it some energy, and felt it for about 3 days afterwards, whereas on Tracy's program I've probably only felt sore a couple of times ever. Maybe I'm just not doing it right. The day after the class I had also lost a little more weight (which only lasted temporarily - see first paragraph!). So for the past week I've been questioning whether to continue my journey solely with Tracy Anderson and the Metamorphosis Continuity program I'm following, whether to mix it up with other workout dvds I have such as TurboFire or P90X, or whether to just go to classes at the leisure centre, which force me to do a full hour and work hard. I think I am going to stick with Tracy's mat work as the abs and arms I've gotten myself have definitely come from that, but maybe for cardio I will mix the Dance Cardio up with some cardio workouts from the TurboFire dvds and also go to the Body Combat class once a week. And as for eating, I realise I cannot just pick up anything I want, I have to admit that I'm over 40 now and as such things like 'just' a bar of chocolate are not something that sit quite so easily (apart from on the muffin top). So I have to renew my vigour for Eating Clean, keep reading Tosca Reno's book and try to follow the protein plus complex carbs rule as much as possible. And cut the chocolate again. So that's where I'm up to, I thought I had come to a happy medium place where I could live with this body and have the odd treat now I'd lost a couple more pounds but the reality is that I'm still yearning for more. So more is what I am going after. I want another 3 pounds off (after these 2 that have crept back on!) and I want less muffin top and more leanness! Help, this could be hard work!!! Started eating well again today, Body Combat tonight then tea already planned - salmon and stir fried veggies, so we'll see how I go... Janice.