So it's day 3 of my 6 week eat-clean, exercise-well challenge and well, things are not as cushy as I'd hoped. I've done so well the past 2 days, felt totally committed to this thing, eaten (almost) all the right things, done the workout etc. So when I stepped on the scales this morning and saw the pound that I'd lost had magically re-appeared, I was not so happy. What does a girl have to do to succeed at this thing? Ok, I can probably put the extra pound down to two things - one, the not so successful tea I had last night - vegetarian sausages with sweet potato chips (french fries), only the fries burned in the oven so I ended up making some frozen mash, lazy and not so good for me probably. Then, I was hungry later on so I had cottage cheese on a Ryvita cracker an hour before bed, which if I think about it I could've done without, or done with half of one, I just needed a tiny snack really. So ok, I can maybe explain away the pound.
But what did I then do? I thought, well, if I can't keep even a pound off I might as well just have whatever I want as this is obviously not working. So I had 2 defcaff coffees with sweetener (not so clean) and 2, yes 2 gingerbread biscuits coated in dark chocolate on one side. Now in my head this was spelling disaster for the day so I was almost tempted to carry on the silliness and have chocolate when I got home etc. I didn't. And I had a healthy tea. So one point to me.
But what kept going through my head when I was thinking about all these extra lovely treats I could have was this - I don't feel too bad in the body I have right now, so I can just continue with the odd treat (or 2) and I'll just stay like this. So is this the classic self-sabotage creeping in at the first sign of success, or am I just actually quite happy with my lot and so maybe my heart isn't in this 100%?
I'm sat here now with 2 gum-shields in (don't laugh), with whitening gel in them, not just in the hope that I'll give my teeth a refresher on the whitening but also so I don't get stuck into the chocolate. Now you're only supposed to keep these things in for an hour, the gel is quite strong, so in about 10 minutes I'm on my own, on the loose again! Can I do it? Can I resist? Do I want to even? I think I do, I think I'm just feeling a little deprived and can probably get back on track if I set my mind on it and just do it!
What's hardest I think is doing this on your own. Yeah you might have support and help from people via this blog or the odd friend may ask how you're doing (not that I've bothered telling anyone yet!), but actually it's just me, in my head and in my body, doing this. Or not. So I have to only rely on myself to get through this in the end. I have to keep in mind the rewards at the end though. I WILL feel more confident in my body, in my clothes, in my head. I will be able to exercise better, harder, faster. I will feel GREAT! So that's my motivation now... keep my eye not on the present so-called hardship (my god how hard can it be not to eat chocolate, we are so spoiled in today's society!), but focus on the future rewards.
End of lesson to myself for today.
Learnings: I may have self-sabotaged slightly today, to prove to myself that I can't do it, but actually I can, I've done it before, and today's 85% success rate is not too far off 100% is it? So onwards and upwards... here's to tomorrow!
Janice.
Janice, I really like what you said about being happy where you currently are. You can maintain and that's perfect.
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